My wishes – Embarking my journey to 20, to be a teacher.

Me in the internship presentation. 2016/7
I’ve spent about a quarter of my life, finally figured out I want to be an English teacher. Although I wasted 2 years to study another discipline (Science) at college, I do not regret. I remember my dearest friend, Mr. Ball, once said, ‘you won’t come to your decision if you haven’t wasted your time’. He’s right. We demand justification to the things we do. If someone asks what WordPress post you read today, you will say ‘why’. Why do you ask me this question? If someone ask how much money you make for a day, you will ask them ‘why’. What are you planning to do with my money? Perhaps, it’s just a casual question. What’re the benefits of asking ‘why’, anyway? We won’t know the reasons for all our every action. But, when we live on with these actions, experiences change our mind. The benefits are written in the future.
I have panicked. I have worried. I have done irrational stuff. All because my road ahead was foggy and unclear. I didn’t understand the university application procedure and was late to apply it. Sometimes we need a beacon to guide us. Even so, the one that really helps yourself is you. I did my application, spent a plenty of time to ponder which subject I should apply (Science, Music, or English). I have been waiting for the ‘good’ news from universities. There was a time when I thought, ‘I won’t get an offer this year’. Yet, I’ll carry on. In Secondary 2, I said in class, ‘I want to be a philosopher that changes the world. I never ended this dream. I became a tutor of two secondary school students. They were suffering due to their worst subject. Their teacher and the system eat away their interests, curiosity, and passion for life. Isn’t there something more vital than the certificate? I hope to lead them to re-explore the world, dealing with real-life problems, like a father.
In my externship, I met an incredible teacher. She double-checked the project my teammates and I did in the night-time. After this program, she organised free English tutorial classes. She trained us to give 1-min talks and spent 1 hour to make our speech professional. I appreciate her unconditional kindness and dedication. More importantly, She had strong teaching ethics. She gave us 2 assignments, both without deadlines. For the first one, only a few of us submitted them. The later one was a portfolio. Similarly, few submitted. But, If we didn’t submit it, we couldn’t collect our externship subsidy. So, I told everyone. The whole group was agitated, saying they would finish the portfolio at once. Then, she whatsapped to the group, ‘you all should do it for your own good. Not for the money.’ After all, the subsidy is just a short-term reward. She later told me not to spread this materialistic idea. Don’t make money to be an incentive for our actions. It’s a teacher’s must-have quality. Don’t let children think materialistically. And be aware of every thing we say. Even a small idea from teachers will have impacts on their students. Thanks to my teacher, Crystal, for teaching me this.
Now that I’ve finished my externship, I am rather idle. I plan to upgrade my English proficiency, explore fun teaching methods, and write my short story. For music, I want to keep my band running and write some songs. Woah. That’s a lot of goals. I still need to figure out what I should pursue. Life, however, is to keep exploring.
To all my friends,
Don’t stop running. Don’t stop chasing.

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